


Hizashi's Halloween Proposal

by CC_Writes_Stuff



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Dorks in Love, Fluff, Has like one line at the end, Inspired by Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV), Kan and Ken are better versions of Hitchcock and Scully, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Mineta shows up for like five seconds just to be gross then leaves, No Angst, Oboro is mentioned but he doesn’t actually show up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23975062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CC_Writes_Stuff/pseuds/CC_Writes_Stuff
Summary: It’s Halloween Heist time at the UA precinct, and the challenge is open up to everyone this year. However, Hizashi isn’t determined to win - no, he has a loftier, lovelier goal in mind. Namely, Shouta’s hand in marriageNow if only Nemuri could let him out of these damn handcuffs...
Relationships: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead/Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	Hizashi's Halloween Proposal

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Bet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23813530) by [Beehsknees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beehsknees/pseuds/Beehsknees). 
  * Inspired by [Steak Out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23376427) by [Beehsknees](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beehsknees/pseuds/Beehsknees). 
  * Inspired by [The Hawk](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21793027) by [thefrailtyofgenius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefrailtyofgenius/pseuds/thefrailtyofgenius). 



> A few things that I just wanted to put out there
> 
> \- In this, quirks are still a thing, as are heroes, but everyone is just a detective
> 
> \- Nedzu is still there, but in this, he’s just a human with an animal mutation quirk and not an animal with an intelligence quirk, just for the purposes of Cheddar (felt weird having the animal with human intelligence who had been experimented on by humans having an animal as a pet)
> 
> \- Cementoss and Vlad King are just better, non-gross versions of Hitchcock and Scully in this
> 
> \- M*neta is only here for like five seconds to be gross because I couldn’t bring Kan or Ken to say Hitchcock’s gross pickup line. That’s grape stain’s territory 
> 
> \- I would put more Oboro in here but I haven’t reached any part in MHA or Vigilantes where he actually shows up, so I don’t know shit about his character other than...
> 
> -Has blue cloud hair, is probably gay for Yamada and Shouta, was friends with them in high school, dead(?) and might be Kurogiri. But I don’t know any of that for sure so no spoilers please! (I’m trying, don’t worry)
> 
> \- I do not own either BNHA or B99, I’ve just seen a few other of these things floating around and wanted to do one with the fifth Halloween heist
> 
> \- I don't know how yen works I just used a dollars-to-yen converter from some of the numbers on here and rounded to the nearest whole number don't yell at me please
> 
> \- Nedzu is a cryptid fight me

The sound of the alarm was what woke Hizashi from his slumber.

It took him a moment to wake up, but when he did, his eyes flew open and a smile appeared on his face. It was Halloween (well, Halloween in America, at least, but Japan didn’t celebrate it, just this precinct after Hizashi made a bet with Nedzu five years ago that turned into something more) something Hizashi had been waiting for for months. And he had a lot to plan today, for today was the day he was going to ask for Shouta’s hand.

“Halloween,” Hizashi said to no one in particular as he turned his alarm off, chuckling to himself. But when he turned over, though, he startled when he saw Shouta staring at him, a dry smile on his face.

“Thought you could get a head start on me, Hizashi?” Shouta asked tiredly, and Hizashi frowned. Damn his boyfriend’s insomnia. “Good luck. I’m already dressed.” As if to prove his point, Shouta threw off his corner of the blanket to reveal him in his jumpsuit, sans his capture scarf.

Hizashi smirked. “Well, I’m also dressed,” he replied, throwing the covers off him. “And I made breakfast.” He had gotten up two hours earlier to make some eggs and bacon, just to rub it in Shouta’s face. He also pulled down the cover to reveal his plate, but... it was clean? “Wait, where are my eggs?”

“In my belly.”

Hizashi and Shouta both let out a shriek at the voice, Hizashi preparing to use his quirk as Shouta’s eyes flashed red and his hand shot towards his capture weapon. He looked to the side to see a light flick on and... their cryptic captain Nedzu sitting in the chair in the corner of the room, a human with rat (bear?) (dog?) features for his quirk.

“Now get a move on!” Nedzu said, feeling no shame for apparently breaking into their house. Hizashi suppressed a shudder. “It’s heist time.”

Despite himself, Hizashi felt himself grinning and pumped a fist. “I love Halloween!”

Next to him, Shouta groaned. Hizashi couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with this man.

* * *

A few hours later, Hizashi was standing up at the front of the bullpen with Shouta and Nedzu at his side, looking out over the detectives and uniformed officers there, as well as Toshinori. It was time for the heist to begin; six hours on the clock to get their prize.

“So!” He started, clapping his hands together. “Some of you have asked me what got me through prison.”

“Was it my family?” He waved a hand. “Don’t be stupid. Was it knowing that my friends would get me out?” Hizashi snorted. “Of course not, I never believed in any of you.”

That was a lie. He did, of course, while waiting for Shouta and the others to arrest Endeavor, but he needed the dramatics. Tensei and Nemuri rolled their eyes at that.

“No, the only thing that kept me sane was planning for the Halloween heist those many years doing hard time.” And that was a truth. While in-between waiting for Endeavor to be arrested and trying to survive prison, he spent a lot of time thinking of different ways of how he would propose to Shouta. If Hizashi was being honest, he couldn’t think of anything better.

“It was eight weeks,” Toshinori said, frowning, a hint of sympathy in his voice.

“I also went to prison, Hizashi,” Tensei piped up in a bored tone. Hizashi rolled his eyes. _Didn’t they see he had something going on? Buncha killjoys, really_.

“We’re getting off track here.”

“No we’re not, dog,” Nemuri sniped.

“Yamada is just trying to play the sympathy card so we all go easy on him,” Nedzu piped up in a too-cheery tone, looking at Hizashi out of the corner of his eye. Black little beads that stared through Hizashi and looked right into his soul. “I’d rather send you back to prison than see you win.”

 _Fun,_ Hizashi thought, but shook that off. “Okay,” he said, before looking back to the crowd. “This year we compete for the most elegant and regal of prizes...”

“A championship cummerbund!” Nedzu announced, holding up the object in question. A large belt with fake gold plating on it, similar to what wrestlers used to wear in the pre-quirk era.

“Or belt, as some people call it,” Hizashi cut in. Nedzu snorted.

“Belt? I’d like to see the pair of slack who’s loops are big enough for this belt,” Their captain said. “No, this is a cummerbund!”

“My mom’s a fashion designer. Give her a couple hundred hours and she can do that,” Hizashi responded, before shaking his head. “Well, whatever this is-“

“-Cummerbund-“

Hizashi glared at Nedzu. “It’s inscribed with the words ‘Amazing human-slash-genius," he continued, before looking out over the squad and turning on his best presentation voice. A part of him still thinks he missed his calling in radio or DJ-ing. "The objective is to have it in your possession at midnight.”

A pause, before Shouta spoke up. “This year, the competition shall not be limited to winners of the past heists.” Hizashi nodded in agreement.

“That’s right! Any man or woman can enter into it. It’s open to everyone.”

“Oh, every man for himself!” Tensei said, leaning forward, resting his engines on the table. “It’s like Bachelor in Paradise.”

“Why that show? You’re the only person here who’s seen it,” Hizashi muttered. Well, he had, but he liked old English tv shows and movies and books. Not to mention he was actually good at English, unlike literally everyone else in the room aside from Toshinori.

“It’s really cool that you three opened it up to everyone,” Nemuri said. Hizashi shrugged and looked to Shouta, then back to the crowd.

“Thank. Yeah, we talked about it, and we just felt like it was only fair.”

Nemuri rolled her eyes. “I was being sarcastic. You all suck and I hope Hizashi goes back to jail.”

Hizashi nodded quickly. “Cool, I’m glad everyone feels comfortable joking about that.”

“Wasn’t joking,” Nemuri said with a sly, knowing smile.

Hizashi smirked. “Insult me all you want, but I only have this to say...”

“Victory shall be mine!” He - and Shouta - said at the same time. Hizashi blinked and whirled to face his boyfriend, who was looking at Hizashi with a smirk. Before he could ask anything, Shouta spoke.

“I heard you practicing in the shower,” Shouta explained, voice as deadpan as ever. “You can’t surprise me.” His voice dropped as he leaned towards Hizashi, making Hizashi’s heart do weird things. God, he loved this man. “Letting me into your life was the worst mistake you’ve ever made.”

“Cool, fun take on our relationship,” Hizashi said while inwardly smirking. The ring in his pocket said otherwise. It was the best thing he’d ever done, and tonight was going to prove that.

“Well I, for one, think you’re perfect for each other,” Nedzu interrupted, and Hizashi looked at him.

“Feels like there’s going to be more.”

“-because you’re both losers.”

 _Yup._ “There it is.”

“None of you stand a chance,” the captain continued, before gesturing to each member of the squad; Tensei, Nemuri, Hizashi, Shouta, and Toshinori, listing a negative characteristic with each name. “No patience, no shame, no self-control, bad choice in boyfriends-“ Hizashi faked mock hurt at that (it wasn’t that hard)- “and, of course, a reckless, old man.”

“I’m younger than you!” Toshinori replied. Nedzu rose a brow.

“No comeback for the reckless thing, I see.” Toshinori sighed and gathered his stuff. Admittedly, it was true. He was kind, but sometimes he was a lumbering oaf. 

“Yeah, I’m not doing the heist, I’m out,” their Sargent said, standing up and tucking his files under his arms. The three at the front snorted.

“Okay,” Nedzu stated.

“Bullshit,” Hizashi agreed.

“Just like you were out last year,” Shouta added, shaking his head before going back to hiding it in the folds of his capture weapon.

“I was out last year!”

“As a setup for this year,” Hizashi countered, jabbing a finger in Toshinori’s direction.

“Your good, Sarge, but not good enough,” Nedzu told him, a malicious gleam entering his eyes. God, Hizashi hated that look, and he was thankful it wasn't directed at him this time. “In fact, I should’ve fired you long ago.”

“What?” Toshinori protested, throwing his arms out. Hizashi rolled his eyes.

“Relax, Toshi, chill out. Get your undies outta your buns,” he told the blonde-haired man. “Now, if everyone would rise, rise like the army of the dead, and follow me into the bullpen of destiny.”

Everyone followed Hizashi, Shouta, and Nedzu into the bullpen, to the spot where a ladder sat under a small hook jutting from the tiled ceiling. Hizashi gestured above him.

“For this heist, we will not hide the belt away or lock it up,” Hizashi said. “It will be suspended from the ceiling in plain sight, for all to see.”

“How poetic,” Nedzu commented. “It will hang out of reach just like Tantalus’ fruit.”

Hizashi nodded. “Yup, that’s where I got the inspiration from, old Greek Mythology, not an episode of the Nickelodeon show ‘ _Guts_ ’.” He paused and turned to Shouta, taking a moment to admire him. “Shou, will you please do the honors?”

Shouta nodded, taking the belt from Nedzu and stepping up on the ladder. He hung the belt, then stepped down again with a nod in Hizashi’s direction.

He felt himself grin. “The belt is in place!” He announced, activating a percent of his quirk to make his voice carry. “Whoever has it at midnight will be declared the-“

At that moment, the lights cut out, and Hizashi paused, looking around, already knowing what was happening. Gasps echoed around the room.

“What’s going on?” Shouta asked.

“I can’t see!” Hizashi faked, looking around.

“Everyone grab something random!” Toshinori shouted.

“Back off, Mineta,” Nemuri growled, voice dangerous, like an apex predator. 

“Silence!” Nedzu announced. The lights chose that moment to come back on, and Hizashi looked up then. Sure enough, the belt was gone. Just like his plan.

“The cummerbund! It’s gone!” Nedzu cries, eyes widening. Quickly, he took a moment to admire the look of surprise on Shouta’s face.

“Who took it? We’re all here,” Nemuri accused. “We're all here.”

“Where’d it go?” Tensei queried, looking around with an accusatory gaze. Hizashi smirked.

“Nowhere; it’s still in this room,” Hizashi lied, turning and walking towards Nedzu. “In fact, it’s right... here!” At that, he grabbed Nedzu’s shirt and ripped it open. Buttons went flying everywhere, scattering across the floor. The only thing he faced with, though, was a white t-shirt that matched Nedzu's freakishly-white skin. Hizashi shook his head, still keeping his smile on. “Nope. Just your tum-tum.”

Nedzu fixed Hizashi with a look. “I don’t have the cummerbund because it’s right here!” Nedzu replied, ripping Hizashi’s own shirt open. He was thankful he had decided to wear one of Shouta’s shirts under his today. Only Shouta needed to see his chest.

More buttons flew off, and Hizashi scowled. He would have to get his mom to fix that. Shouta said he already had enough shirts as it was.

“Both of you, stop undressing, we just had harassment training!” Toshinori boomed, making a gesture with his arm.

Just then, there was a sound like static, and another voice sounded.

“Hey, over here losers,” the voice said, coming from his computer, and he looked to the side to see someone with a metal collar of sorts, wispy black skin and yellow eyes there, but it was clear they were wearing a mask.

“This is Shirakumo Oboro,” the voice said, darker and more disoriented than normal. “You really thought you could do this without me? I’m the defending champion.”

“Oboro... I should’ve known it was you, you punk!” Hizashi said, jabbing a finger in the direction of his childhood ‘friend’.

“Yeah, you punk, why aren’t you showing your face, you punk?” Shouta said, crossing his arms over his chest. A part of Hizashi celebrated the fact that - before he met Hizashi - his friend never would’ve said something like that.

“Yeah, my wife just had a kid, I haven’t shaved, washed my hair or slept in three weeks,” ‘Oboro’ replied in a bored, almost tired, tone. Hizashi melted, despite the fact he had already seen pictures of Oboro’s kids. But he needed to act, and that was one thing he knew how to do.

“Oh, how is she?”

“Yeah, how she’s doing?” Shouta asked as well, hiding his smile in the folds of his capture weapon. Hizashi knew he had a reputation to protect, but he really was soft on the inside.

“None of your business!” ‘Oboro’ snapped, and Hizashi was taken aback. His friend usually wasn’t like that. Then again, Hizashi already knew it was just a shapeshifter he paid a fair amount of money this year to come - Fake Nemuri. 

“Now, if you wanna find the belt, you’re going to have to work for it,” ‘Oboro’ continued. “Behind my desk are boxes of baby stuff I didn’t have time to assemble. You get a clue for each item you put together. Oboro, Obor-out.” With that, the screen went dark.

“This is crazy,” Hizashi drawled a little louder than normal. “No one is going to do Oboro’s dumb chores, am I right?”

“Right, absolutely not,” Shouta agreed with a single nod of his head.

“It’s ridiculous,” said Nedzu. There was a pause, before Hizashi darted towards his friend’s desk, the rest of the squad following behind.

“I got the preach and play! You can all suck it!” Hizashi shouted, a bit of his quirk slipping into his voice as he dashed away from the bullpen. Nemuri followed close behind.

The two of them went down the halls before stepping into another room, with a file cabinet to the side.

“Haha, they fell for it!” Nemuri said once they stepped inside, tossing her own baby box to the side, and Hizashi followed. “Hook, line, and sphincter!”

“It’s sinker,” Hizashi replied.

“No, it’s sphincter. That’s where you put the hook in when you’re eeling!” Nemuri said, and Hizashi rose a brow. _How in the world did Nemuri know that?_

“Welp, I’m never using that expression again,” Hizashi said. At that moment, the door opened up, and in stepped ‘Oboro’. But in actuality, his name was Kishi Ikasu, and his quirk was shapeshifter. When he touched someone with both hands for at least half a minute, he could copy their features, but if he had already done so before, he didn’t need to do the hand contact.

“Hey guys,” he said, taking off the mask and grey collar he wore during his speech. Sadly, he and Oboro almost never hung out anymore since his wife became pregnant and had a kid, so he had to make do with a mask.

“Right on time,” Hizashi said as Ikasu walked up to Nemuri.

“Welcome,” she said.

“So, did you have any trouble getting into the vents?” Hizashi asked.

Ikasu shook his head. “Nope. Went like clockwork.” Then he told them how he proceeded to climb through the vents disguised as Hizashi and then promptly insulted an officer.

“Aww man, I’m friends with Officer Dakuri!” Hizashi complained. Ikasu shook his head.

“Not anymore. He was very upset,” Ikasu replied. “Anyways, once I got in the vents, it was smooth sailing.”

“I gotta say, Ikasu, your Oboro impression was spot on,” Hizashi commented. He shrugged.

“I’m very good at role-playing, and my quirk is super useful.”

Hizashi nodded too fast too quickly. “Right, I forgot you maybe a male prostitute.”

Ikasu grinned creepily. “I was definitely a male prostitute, but I don’t do that anymore. Now I sell vitamin supplements. I made ¥900,000 this year alone working out of the comfort of my own home.”

More nodding on Hizashi and Nemuri’s end, but Ikasu kept talking before Hizashi could speak.

“How’d I do it? Nutri-boom,” he said. “And the good news is you can do it too.”

“Okay, this is clearly a pyramid scheme,” Nemuri said with a dismissive wave of her hand as she looked towards Hizashi. “We’re not interested.”

Ikasu shrugged. “Your loss,” he said, before grinning and stepping towards Nemuri. “Here’s the belt...”

“Ah, she’s a beauty,” Hizashi said, reaching towards it. But before he could grab it, Nemuri grabbed his wrist and pushed him backward. Hizashi let out a cry of surprise as she slapped a pair of handcuffs on his wrist and handcuffed him to the handle of one of the file cabinets.

“Ow! Nemuri, what are you doing?” Hizashi half-asked, half-yelled at her, and he yanked on the handcuffs. The chains rattled in response, but didn’t give. She smirked as she walked towards Ikasu.

“The easiest thing I’ve ever done; betraying you,” Nemuri drawled with no remorse as Hizashi frantically attempted to dislodge himself from the handcuffs. No, he couldn’t let this happen, not when he had to propose to Shouta! “Ikasu, the belt.”

“Ikasu, you’re in on this too?” Hizashi whined as the shapeshifter stepped towards Nemuri, handing her the belt. Nemuri took it from him and purred as she practically stroked it.

The man in question nodded. “Uh-huh.” Hizashi bit his lip and put on his best kicked-puppy-dog expression.

“Come on, Nemuri, don’t do this to me! I really need to win this year,” Hizashi begged. Shame? Dignity? What the hell were those? He just needed to make sure that he didn’t tell Nemuri about his plans. This was a secret from everyone here, minus Oboro. His childhood friend was the first - and only - person Hizashi went too for this. “I’m begging you.”

“Those emerald greens aren’t going to work on me, Hizashi, not today,” Nemuri replied. Hizashi narrowed his eyes.

“This is crazy, Nem. You’re never going to get out of here on your own.”

Nemuri’s smirk grew bigger. “I’m not on my own; I have an alliance!”

At that, she clapped her hands together, and the door opened up. Tensei and Toshinori stepped in, then, the latter barely fitting through the door while Tensei smirked. Hizashi did a Dramatic Grasp.

“An alliance!” He said, scanning the room. “It’s not Bachelor in Paradise, it’s Survivor!” Sadly, no one got the reference - Tensei had only seen the former.

Then he glared at Tensei. “Tensei, I am very disappointed in you.”

“Your disappointment means nothing to me,” Tensei said with a short nod. Hizashi nodded, before looking towards and pointing a finger at Toshinori.

“Copy that, and Toshinori, I knew you were playing. Last year was a setup!”

Toshinori nodded and took a step forward, determination in his electric-blue eyes. “Hell yeah it was,” he said. “I’m sick of you, Shouta and Nedzu winning.” His eyes narrowed and darkened, shadows passing over them. “You’re all so damn smug.”

Nemuri nodded. “Yeah. You guys may be the champs, but this year?” She winked at Hizashi. “This year belongs to the tramps.”

Tensei sighed and rolled his eyes so hard that Hizashi thought they might pop out of his head. “Nem, we did not agree to that name,” he said.

“Ha, you’re just jealous,” Nemuri said. “Everyone loves it.”

Toshinori shook his head. “No.”

“Nu-uh.”

“Ikasu, keep an eye on Hizashi,” Nemuri said, before turning and walking out. “Let’s go, Tramps!”

“Nem, no, no!” Hizashi cried, using part of his quirk, but his pleas fell on deaf ears as Nemuri, Toshinori, and Tensei left, leaving Hizashi alone with Ikasu.

“Hey, let me ask you this,” Ikasu said the moment the door closed as he turned towards Hizashi. “How would you like to be your own boss?”

“Not now, Ikasu!” Hizashi groaned as he started thinking of ways to escape the cuffs. He gave his arm another shake, but the handcuffs just rattled and didn’t give.

* * *

A while later, he spotted Shouta walking past, raven hair passing through the window. Activating his quirk, Hizashi called out to him.

“Shouta. Shouta. Shou. SHOUUU! In here, **HELLLP**!”

A few seconds later, Shouta stepped through the door, smirking as he looked around the room, dark, beautiful eyes landing on Hizashi.

“Hello, Fake Nemuri,” he said with a nod in Ikasu’s direction. “Hello handcuffed Yamada.”

“Will you please help me get out of this?” He begged, but not ready to get down on his knees just yet. Hopefully, his kicked-puppy dog look would work on his boyfriend like they usually did. “It’s not for the heist, I just really have to pee.”

“No,” Shouta replied with a simple shake of his head. Hizashi cursed in English. Then he looked around like he was looking for someone hiding, looked at Shouta.

“Fine, fine, but how about I trade you?” he tried, and he winked at his boyfriend, putting his free hand to the side of his mouth. “If you let me out, then I’ll give you top-secret info on various _dealings_.”

Shouta crossed his arms and crooked a brow. “Such as?” He asked in his usual dryness.

“Well, first off, masked Oboro-“

“Was just a ruse so you and Nemuri could steal the belt,” Shouta finished. Hizashi frowned, scowling at his boyfriend.

“Yeah-huh, but also-“

“Nemuri teamed up with Tensei and Toshinori to form the Tramps,” Shouta continued, sounding all-too pleased with himself. Hizashi cursed again.

“Gah! How did you know that?!”

Shouta shrugged. “I gave her the idea last year,” he said, recalling the tale of how Nemuri said she was just a tramp, and Shouta slyly implying it was a good name for something, but he ‘didn’t know much’.

“I told you, I’ll always be one step ahead of you. You can’t surprise me, ya boring,” Shouta told him, and Hizashi had to fight to not smirk. With his free hand, he ran his thumb over the velvet fabric of the ring box.

 _Not always,_ he thought silently.

“You know what really spices things up?” Ikasu piped up from where he sat on the floor. He and Shouta looked over to him. “Co-owning a multi-tiered marketing-“

“Ignore him,” Hizashi interrupted, rolling his eyes as he looked at his boyfriend, who had a slightly confused expression on his face. “Look, there are three Tramps. The only way we can win is by teaming up.”

His boyfriend blinked and nodded, uncrossing his arms. “Good point. I guess my point is... Rot in hell, crap-face!” Shouta barked as he leaned forward, a hint of teasing to his voice. Hizashi gasped. “Also, I love you, and treasure you, and ya bore me.”

“God, you’re being so mean,” Hizashi whined, jutting out his lower lip, before smirking and winking. He wouldn’t miss any chance to tease his boyfriend. “Do it more.”

“I hope you die,” Shouta said plainly, and Hizashi honestly couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. Then he turned on his heel and headed out. “Bye.”

Hizashi narrowed his eyes. “Fine! Go! Who even needs you, ya freakin’ jag!”

* * *

Elsewhere in the precinct, Tensei, Nemuri, and Toshinori headed over to the server room.

“Looks like we’re all clear,” Toshinori said as the reached the server room. “Good job, guys.”

“Oh, nothing can stop this Tramp Train,” Nemuri giggled, and Tensei rolled his eyes.

“Nem, stop finding variations on a word we hate,” he told her, before looking at Toshinori. “Okay, Sarge, lift up the super-heavy thing no one else can lift.”

Toshinori nodded, easily lifting up one of the server boxes with only a minimal amount of grunting. Nemuri stepped over and slid the belt under it, and Toshinori set it down.

“Nice!” Nemuri said. “Keep lifting heavy things like that, Toshi, and maybe you’ll work off some of that bulk!”

“What?” Toshinori asked, sounding offended. Tensei rolled his eyes and pulled a small remote out of his pocket.

“I set up and electric eye yesterday,” he stated, pressing the button, and three red lines shot out from the side of the doorway. “So that way, if any one enters this room, an alarm will go off.”

Pocketing the remote, Tensei glanced at the two and pulled a chair in front of it. “Let’s move. Don’t cross the beam.”

It was easy for him to lift himself up on the doorframe and swing his way across, Nemuri running and jumping over it, tucking into a roll at the last second. Toshinori, bless his heart, tried to jump off the chair and jump over it, but he slipped at the last second and fell, hitting the ground face-first. Tensei winced as the alarm went off.

“Well, at least the alarm works,” he said, pulling his phone out to turn it off before going to help Yagi.

* * *

Yet another few hours later, Hizashi still hadn’t managed to get out of his cuffs. With a huff, he shook his arm and groaned. He was getting really impatient, and midnight was drawing ever closer.

“Alright, fine, it looks like I’m going to have to 127-hours this shit,” he said to no one in particular. Mostly because Ikasu grossed him out a little bit.

“You’re going to cut off your own arm?” Ikasu said, and Hizashi blinked.

“Is that how that ends?” He asked, looking at the shapeshifter, and Ikasu nodded. Hizashi blanched. “Oh damn, I got busy and my rental period expired. I thought he just wiggled outta it. Come on, will you please uncuff me? Please, you gotta, man! I’ve never treated you like a prostitute.”

Ikasu leveled a look at him. “You just did.”

Hizashi let out an obnoxious groan, limply shaking his arm. “Touché,” he said, before sighing. Oh god, he was really going to do this, wasn’t he? “Okay, fine, how about I give you... ¥855,000 worth of supplements.”

“It’s not giving, it’s investing in your future,” Ikasu said. “And you can too.”

“Yeah, I already said I would do it,” Hizashi told him with a wave of his hand. “You don’t have to keep selling me.”

Ikasu nodded, stepping over to a small table and setting a rather massive manilla folder down. Hizashi gulped. Oh, he was so going to regret this later on.

“First things first, you are not allowed to have any of this reviewed by an attorney,” Ikasu said, and Hizashi nodded.

“Yup, this seems bad,” he commented. But it would be worth it in the end. Hizashi’s heart skipped a beat as he thought about it, running his thumb over the velvet of the box.

* * *

“So where the hell am I supposed to place this moonless Jupiter on Oboro’s mobile?” Nedzu asked no one in particular as he looked at the mobile he was halfway through completing. He sighed. “I pity the child that lies beneath this solar system.”

“Hey, Captain, something’s wrong with this heist,” Kan suddenly said as he and Ken stepped through the door. Nedzu looked up from the mobile. “You tell us everything you know, and we’ll tell You everything we know.”

“I’d rather not,” Nedzu replied calmly as he set the mobile down on his desk.

Ken deflated. “Dammit, we don’t know anything.”

Nedzu shrugged. “Well, good day, then,” he said in lieu of a dismissal. But Kan stopped him then, frowning.

“Wait, why are you sweating?” He asked, leaning forward. Nedzu frowned.

“I’m not sweating,” he defended, continuing to pedal. Kan shook his head.

“No, I’ve seen enough training sessions with kids to know what sweat looks like, and that’s sweat,” he replied, pointing at Nedzu.

“Well, if I’m sweating, as you claim, it’s because it’s hot in here,” he replied, watching as Mochi grabbed the cummerbund.

“It’s sixty-eight degrees in here!” Ken said, frowning as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Well, my room has a separate thermostat than the bullpen,” Nedzu informed them, slowly pedaling backward.

“You’re lying,” Kan replied.

Once the screen showed the server set back down, Nedzu stood up and brushed his suit off. “I’m not,” he said. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go get some fresh air.”

With that, he exited, before heading down to the first floor. Stepping outside, he drew a dog whistle from his pocket and pursed his lips for a series of commands. A few seconds later, his dog, Mochi trotted over to him.

“Good boy, Mochi, bring me that cummerbund,” he said, kneeling down to scratch his dog and get the cummerbund. “Oh yeah- wait a minute.”

Nedzu frowned as he turned the cummerbund over, realizing it was just a regular cummerbund. No inscription or fake gold on it. “Wait a minute... this isn’t the championship cummerbund... this is just some common cummerbund!”

Then he looked down at his dog, then, realizing the collar was navy blue instead of cornflower blue, the coat wasn’t as pristine as Mochi's. “And you’re not Mochi. You’re just some common bitch!”

* * *

Hizashi’s hand was starting to cramp.

“And this says you’ve received your sales training,” Ikasu said, and Hizashi nodded. Signed. “And this one is a sworn affidavit saying that you have seen Nutriboom founder, Derebi Soreman, and you have found her to be happy, healthy and alive.”

Hizashi sighed and quickly signed that, alarm bells going off in his head, but he ignored it. He could deal with that suspicious text later, after he proposed. “Okay, fine, great, all done,” he said. “Just get me outta this.”

Ikasu nodded, finally unlocking the handcuffs. Hizashi fist-pumped when he did, stepping away and rubbing his cramping hand. Now he knew how Toshinori felt when he had to put in overtime for paperwork. Thankfully, though, Nemuri hadn’t made them too tight. It was the little victories.

Now all he needed to do was get the altered belt to Shouta.

Nemuri chose that moment to walk in, then, and she paused when she did, looking between Ikasu and Hizashi.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” She asked, but before she could use her quirk on him, Hizashi grabbed her and handcuffed her to the file cabinet. When she tried to grab at her, he leaped back, and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“Yeah!” He whooped. “Didn’t think I could get out of my cuffs did you, Nemuri?” Hizashi asked as Nemuri swiped at him again. “But you forgot about one thing.”

“Nutriboom,” she said, her gaze sliding to Ikasu. Hizashi jabbed a finger at her.

“Nutriboom!” He announced. “That’s right! I’m in the President's circle now.” Once more, he reached for the ring. “Sorry, Nem, but this year’s heist was just too important. Watch her, Ikasu.”

As Hizashi turned to leave, static sounded again, and Tensei's voice sounded through a walkie talkie. “Check-in, Nemuri, check-in.”

Nemuri smirked. “Uh-oh, Hizashi, they check in every ten minutes, and I have to respond with a code only we know.”

She went to grab the walkie-talkie, but Hizashi was faster. He darted forward and snatched it from her hand, before stepping back. Tossing it up in the air, Hizashi caught it with his free hand (to show off, mostly - he was good at that) and spoke.

“I am a tramp,” he said, mimicking Nemuri’s voice the best he could. Nemuri growled, rattling at her handcuffs, but they wouldn't give.

“Copy that,” Tensei said, and Hizashi grinned.

“Did I guess it? Did I guess the code? I couldn’t hear what Tensei said but that was it, right?”

“You got it,” Nemuri grumbled defeatedly. His grin grew wider.

“Yeah, I thought so, okay,” Hizashi said,before turning on his heel and leaving.

Quietly as he could, Hizashi made his way over to the evidence locker, where he could get onto the security cameras. Luckily, he made it there without Shouta, Toshinori or Tensei finding him. Good. He could use the element of surprise.

The evidence room was empty other than a single detective, so he slipped over to the table where the security system was at.

“Okay, security system, talk to me,” Hizashi muttered, looking across the screens. “What have I missed, what’s going on?”

The security cam showed Nedzu outside with Mochi by his side and the belt under his arm. Hizashi grinned and snapped his fingers.

“Ah-ha! Nedzu used Mochi to steal the belt,” he said, before frowning as he watched the picture as the two walked back. “But that’s _not_ Mochi. Nedzu and Mochi always walk in perfect lockstep. Which means someone took Mochi, and that person has the belt.”

Leaning forward, as if the action would make everything bigger, he looked for any tells that would tell Hizashi who took Mochi.

“But who? Who took Mochi?”

* * *

Shouta stepped through the elevators, trying to discreetly brush off the dog hair off his black shirt, nose already running. Stupid dog and his stupid allergies; he’d have to wash this shirt when he got back. Shouta and dogs didn’t mix. It was why he and Hizashi had two cats.

From his desk, Toshinori looked at him with suspicion in his blue eyes. “Where are you coming from?” He asked Shouta, accusation in his voice. Clearly still trying to play the 'out this year' card.

“Why do you care?” He asked lethargically, raising a brow. “Thought you weren’t heisting.”

“I’m not; I’m just interested in your comings and goings because I care about you as a friend.” Toshinori defended.

“Okay, friend, I went to the bathroom.”

“Well you were gone a long time, friend,” Toshinori said, folding his hands together and seemingly attempting to stare through Shouta as if that would help the big man figure out what he was doing. “You feeling okay, friend?”

“No, it was number two, and it was very intense, friend,” Shouta deadpanned, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at Toshinori. As he went to leave, though, he felt his allergies acting up, and Shouta sneezed.

He grimaced. Fucking dogs.

* * *

“Bless you,” Hizashi said automatically as Shouta sneezed. Then his brain rebooted, and he had an epiphany. “Wait! He sneezed. Dog allergies.” He narrowed his eyes as Shouta. “Which means that Shouta took-“

* * *

“ **Mochi**!” Nedzu’s voice rang through the bullpen, and Shouta turned to see their captain walking into the bullpen.

“Where is my dog?!” Nedzu asked, glaring as he looked about the room, his eyes landing on each detective in here for about five seconds before going to the next. Shouta noticed that neither Nemuri or Hizashi were in here. He knew Hizashi had been locked up, but what of Nemuri?

 _Hopefully, she hadn’t found the belt or skateboard yet,_ he thought as he took a seat at his desk to do some paperwork. He was still a detective, after all.

“Aren’t you standing right next to him?” Toshinori asked their boss, gesturing to the pint-sized corgi.

“This bitch?” Nedzu asked with a tone in his voice, angling his head towards the dog. “Please. Watch.”

Their captain knelt down, then, and held out his hand towards not-Mochi. “Shake. Shake.” The dog in question did not shake, he just sat there with his tongue lolling out of his mouth. Nedzu scoffed and stood up, shaking his head. “Idiot.”

Then Nedzu looked around again as Shouta discreetly pulled a small remote out of his pocket. “I know one of you took Mochi for the sake of the heist, but if anything happens to him, I will end you.” Shouta thought of Mochi, sitting in a small dog cage with some snacks and toys to keep him occupied for a few hours.

 _He’s fine,_ Shouta thinks as he opens up the safe and directs the skateboard with the cummerbund towards it.

“I couldn’t bring myself to neuter Mochi, but I will neuter all of you.” That was accompanied by Nedzu jabbing a finger at each person in the room. With that came the small hum of a motor as the skateboard headed into the safe.

Unbeknownst to Shouta, as he closed the safe, Hizashi was watching the cameras with a smile on his face.

* * *

“Uh yell heah.”

* * *

An hour later, a small corgi with a pristine coat and cornflower blue-collar darted through the bullpen, almost tripping two people as he went. He stopped in the middle of the bullpen under the curious gazes of (just about) every person there and barked.

A moment later, Shouta watched as Nedzu stepped through the door, a hopeful look in his eyes. “Mochi?” He asked, and the dog gave another bark. Shouta frowned; he hadn’t let Mochi out. Who did? Was it Nemuri or Hizashi? He hadn't seen either one of them in a while. “Mochi?”

Nedzu knelt down next to the dog and held out a hand. “Shake,” he said, and the dog did so. Nedzu smiled. “Ah, good grip, pristine coat... that’s my doggy!”

The captain stood up and pointed to his door. “You betrayed me. Return to my office, you’ll explain later. Return to my office.”

The doggy trotted towards the office with his ears perked up, and Shouta barely had time to explain, H _e's a dog. He can't talk to you_ before the break room chose that moment to start smoking.

“Guys, where is there smoke coming from the break room?” Toshinori asked, sounding mildly alarmed as he stood up. Shouta did too, looking around the bullpen as he narrowed his eyes.

“What’s going on? Is someone doing something?” Shouta demanded as he grabbed the edge of his capture weapon, ready to kick ass if need be. Either something was on fire, or someone was doing something for the Halloween heist. “Who’s doing something?”

The double doors opened up, then, and a bunch of people dressed in red with shawls on their heads walked out, heads bowed.

“‘ _Handmaid’s Tale_ ’,” Toshinori said, looking at Tensei. The handmaids started walking all around as the civilians in the bullpen and holding cell stared on in varying levels of shock, confusion, bordem, and amusement. “This is Tensei. He won’t shut up about how relevant this show is in today’s political landscape.”

“It’s relevant as hell,” Tensei defense, throwing his arms out, careful to not hit one of the handmaids. Then he pressed a hand to his chest. “But this isn’t me.” He pointed to Toshinori. "Yagi also loved the show. This is him,” he said with accusation in his voice.

Shouta smirked as he looked at Toshinori, who sputtered for a defense. “No, no, I love Elizabeth Moss,” the big man defended. “I thought the show was too bleak.”

“Oh, they’re coming from everywhere,” Shouta grumbled, looking around at the mass of red and white.

“Hello, blessed be the fruit, baby,” the resident disappointment, Mineta, said as he leered at the handmaids. Shouta grimaced, somewhat revolted, and felt bad for whichever poor lady had the bad luck of hearing that.

“Ew, Mineta, you watch that show?” He asked, scrunching his nose up. Why hadn’t Nedzu fired the grape shit yet? He brought nothing but disappointment to the group.

Mineta frowned. “Watch what? That’s my pickup line.”

 _Disgusting,_ Shouta thought as he rolled his eyes.

“What are they doing?” Nedzu asked, frowning.

“We haven’t heard from Nemuri in a while,” Tensei pointed out.

“We need to check to make sure everything’s fine,” Toshinori said, grabbing... was that a walkie-talkie? Nedzu scoffed, then, as the handmaid’s tale music blared in Shouta’s ears.

“Check what?” Nedzu asked, raising a brow at the two. “The server? I stole the cummerbund from under there an hour ago.”

It was almost enough to make Shouta laugh, seeing Toshinori and Tensei’s eyes widen comically and their jaws dropping to the floor.

“You knew about-“ Toshinori started, but Nedzu cut him off with a wave of his hand.

“About you playing? The server? I’ve known about your plans for weeks.”

“Uh-oh, they’re circling,” Tensei commented. Sure enough, they were, smoke fading from the break room.

“Stop!” Shouta yelled, spotting his boyfriend in the ground. He may not have Hizashi’s quirk, but the times he spoke up were so rare it was enough to shock most people there.

Narrowing his eyes and smirking, Shouta marched towards his boyfriend. He really should’ve tied his hair up for this, Shouta thought, eyeing the blonde locks that escaped out of the back of the shawl.

“Hello, Ofamy,” he said, grabbing Hizashi’s shoulder and spinning him around.

“Hello,” his dumbass boyfriend replied in a high-pitched voice, a weak attempt to pass as a girl. He looked up, then, sheepish. “I don’t know what’s going on.”

Shouta stared at him for a moment, taking in the golden locks of his hair, the bright green of his eyes. But he could admire his boyfriend later. Right now, he had a heist to win.

“I do,” he replied, before clapping his hands together. “Handmaids, out.”

Like rats fleeing, the people dressed as handmaids scattered out in single-file lines away from the bullpen.

“They really listen to you,” Hizashi commented as Shouta tore the shawl off his boyfriend’s head.

“You figured out I had the belt in my safe, and you thought you could distract me and take the key,” Shouta commented, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I did think those things, yes!” Hizashi announced, spreading his hands outwards before bringing them together. He tilted his head, a smirk on his face that made Shouta’s heart skip a beat. “And then... I did.”

Shouta snorted in response, willing himself to not fall for Hizashi’s usual charm and flair. “Please, impossible.” He paused, lifting up his right foot. It took a few seconds of careful balancing and picking at the heel of his shoe before he grabbed the small key he had. “The key had been in my shoe the entire time.”

Hizashi grinned. “Well, it’s almost midnight,” he replied with a wink. “Why don’t you try and use your key?”

Nodding, Shouta headed over to his desk, Hizashi and the rest of their squad following. He could hear Toshinori cursing in English about the belt getting stolen from him so easily, and Shouta smirked as he knelt down next to his safe.

“It fits,” he stated once he put the key in, looking at Hizashi with a grin. He was going to win tonight, he was sure of it. “I knew you were lying. You’re so predictable.”

Something flashed in Hizashi’s eyes, gone too fast for Shouta to make out what it was, but he had seen it before. Most notably whenever he said Hizashi was predictable.

He attempted to open the safe, but... the lock wouldn’t turn. Something akin to panic shot through his chest. “Uh, it not turning...”

“Oop, I guess I’m not quite as predictable as you thought,” Hizashi said, and Shouta could hear the smirk in his boyfriend’s voice. Shouta glared and the blonde as he stood up, while Hizashi was looking around at the other detectives. Swagger oozed off him in waves. “I also bet that none of you can predict what I’m going to do next.”

“You’re going to open up the safe and act like a dick about it?” Tensei asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He fixed a disappointed gaze at his loud friend, voice sounded bored.

Hizashi’s smile faltered. “Yeah-huh. That’s obviously what I’m going to do, Tensei. You just have to be so spot-on all the time,” he said as Tensei smirked, before pushing past Shouta with a smirk.

“If I may... let me just get my skirt up,” he said, before dramatically (can he do anything less?) bunching his skirt up as he knelt down next to the safe. He put the key in the lock, and sure enough, it turned. Behind him, Toshinori sighed defeatedly.

“And the lock is turning, and the safe is...” a pause as Hizashi threw the door open. The squad groaned, and Shouta silently resigned himself to the fact that Hizashi was going to rub this in his nose for weeks. But when it opened, he was surprised to see the safe was- **“EMPTY?**!”

Shouta glared at him, activating his quirk, feeling the burn of his dry eye as Erasure activated. But the damage to his ears was already done, ringing slightly as the others in the bullpen who had the misfortune of hearing it groaned and winced. At least it wasn’t at full volume. Hizashi croaked as he stood up.

“What?” Tensei gasped.

“There’s no cummerbund?” Nedzu asked, and Shouta looked around, deactivating Erasure.

“Never was, it was always a belt,” Hizashi interrupted with a small croak in his voice as he stood up.

“I don’t understand, who took it?” Shouta asked, fixing his gaze on the remaining squad members, then Hizashi. He couldn’t pass over the fact this may be a part of something bigger, something he had managed to keep from Shouta.

“We haven’t heard from Nemuri in a while. What if she betrayed the tramps?” Tensei asked Toshinori, before grimacing and grabbing two fistfuls of his blue hair. “Oh, god, I just called us the Tramps, what have I become?!”

“Everything you ever hated,” Shouta deadpanned, and Tensei glared at him, but there was no malice in his gaze.

“It’s not Nemuri,” Hizashi replied. “I locked her up.”

“Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,” Toshinori said, scrambling to pull his phone out of his pockets. It took him a few seconds, but he finally did it. “I put a GPS tracker on the belt! It’s on the move and going fast!”

“I’ll go after it!” Tensei replied, engines already running, smoke drifting from the tailpipes. “Toshinori, get a bike and follow.” With that, the blue-haired man zoomed out of the room.

“Later dorks,” Toshinori said, following and calling for Tensei to slow down.

“Should we follow them?” Hizashi asked Shouta, furrowing his brows as he looked between Shouta and Nedzu. But the latter started chuckling, and Shouta knew from experience that Nedzu chuckling was never good.

“Captain, why are you giggling?” Shouta asked warily, taking a step back as he instinctively grabbed one end of his capture weapon.

“Because I put a GPS tracker inside of Yagi,” he replied with his usual sadistic grin. Shouta shrugged. He hated that look on their captain. “Devious, I know, but-“

“I also put a tracker in Toshinori’s yogurt,” Hizashi said, frowning at their captain.

“So did I,” Shouta reluctantly agreed, wincing. “Do you guys think all that radiation is bad for him?”

“I’m sure he’ll be fine,” Hizashi insisted with a wave of his hand. Nedzu nodded in agreement.

“He’s lived a long life already,” he said somberly, and oh did Shouta hate _that_.

They all looked at each other for a moment, before all bolting towards the stairs. Or, rather, Shouta let Hizashi and Nedzu run ahead of him before stopping. Instead of going downstairs to track the belt, Shouta smirked and turned, heading towards where he Ikasu carrying the safe.

* * *

“Good luck keeping up with me,” Nedzu said as he and Hizashi reached the first floor. A few people that were here for whatever reason at this late hour gave them odd looks, but didn’t question it and went on their way. “I’ve done my morning calisthenics!”

 _What the hell are those?_ Hizashi asked himself, before shaking his head. It was almost time; Hizashi needed to focus. “Oh, I’ll keep up with you-“

He didn’t get to finish before Nedzu turned and burst out the doors yelling “RAH!” loud enough to match Hizashi’s voice with his quirk activated.

“...In hell,” he finished, chuckling, before wriggling his way out of the handmade dress. It fell to the floor in a pile of red, and Hizashi grinned.

 _Almost midnight,_ Hizashi though, glancing at the clock, before he turned to head back upstairs. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest from how fast it was pounding. Whether it was from nerves or all the running he’d done in the past few seconds, he didn’t know.

He raced up the stairs two at a time, back into the bullpen. Only a few people were around, and the nightshift people were preparing to start their day (night?).

Taking a few minutes to calm himself and his racing heartbeat - mostly so he didn’t scream his fear and joy and anxiety and wake up everyone in a 10km radius - Hizashi headed towards the file room. If his suspicions- his planning - were right, Shouta would be there.

Quietly as he could, Hizashi opened up the door and stepped into the evidence room, closing it behind him. He only got a few steps in, however, before he was faced with a smirking Shouta.

“Hello, ‘Zashi,” Shouta said.

“ **AH**!” He yelped, using his quirk to make him seem more surprised than he actually was. Still, his heart skipped a beat; it was almost time.

Shouta’s eyes flared red as his hair lifted briefly, better revealing the dark onyx of his eyes, and Hizashi felt that snap of his quirk disappearing, before it disappeared and Shouta’s hair floated back down again, ruby-red eyes turning back to onyx black.

“Quiet down, Hizashi, geez,” Shouta grumbled, shaking his head. Hizashi put a hand over his heart as if to keep it from beating out of his chest. He knew that it couldn’t, but still.

“Wha, Shou? What are you doing here?” He asked, cracking a shaky smile. “Why aren’t you out looking for the belt?”

“Because we both know the belt never left the precinct,” Shouta replied easily.

“I don’t know that. Nobody knows that.” In actually, the real belt was being carried away by Ikasu to lead the others away from here, and Nemuri was already locked up. It was just him and Shouta here. Hizashi’s knees felt weak at that, but he couldn’t get on his knees just yet.

“I kept thinking, ‘how did anyone swap my key?’” Shouta asked, raising brow and faking thinking, before he snapped his fingers and looked at Hizashi. “And then it hit me. They didn’t. No, they swapped the safe. One of the handmaids - I’m assuming fake Nemuri - took my safe, and then Ofamy deposited a lookalike.”

He had. When Shouta was out patrolling one day, Hizashi had taken the time to figure out what kind of safe his boyfriend got and bought a replica. Them living together had the effect of Hizashi knowing about most of Shouta's plans before the heist even began.

“What did you give fake Nemuri so he’d help you?”

“Nothing!” Hizashi piped up. “In fact, he gave me something; the power of financial freedom.” When Shouta rose a brow at him and gave him a look, he deflated and sigh. “I invested in a pyramid scheme, no time to go into it.”

There really wasn’t. If Hizashi had to wait any longer, he might die from anxiety.

Shouta groaned. “Dumbass,” he grunted, before shaking his head. “So, while we tried to figure out who had the real key, fake Nemuri broke into the same, removed the tracker, and let Toshinori and the rest of the squad on a wild goose chase.”

Now his boyfriend was only partially correct. Hizashi had kept the tracker inside the original one, the one Ikasu had and was currently trying to outrun Tensei with (good luck) but the one Shouta believed was the real one was sitting in a file box right next to him.

Hizashi drummed his fingers on his side with one hand, the other clutching the box so hard he was sure his knuckles were right. _Almost time..._

“My only question is which box is the belt in?” Shouta asked, looking around and scratching his stubble. Hizashi grinned.

“Well, good luck figuring it out, because the clock is tick-tick-tocking,” he replied in all his showmanship. With his free hand, Hizashi gestured towards the many boxes that were in here.

A smirk appeared on his boyfriend’s face, and he took a step forward. “It’s that one,” he said, grabbing the box. Hizashi felt his heart leap up into his throat.

“No!” He fake-protested, but that was about all he was able to say.

“The dust pattern on it doesn’t match its neighbors, meaning it’s been moved recently. It’s only logical,” Shouta replied as he grabbed the box.

_[Unbeknownst to Hizashi, before the blonde had gotten there, Shouta had actually peeked in the boxes one by one until he saw it, then quickly closed the box and put it back.]_

“You see, Hizashi, I’m always going to be one step ahead of you,” Shouta bragged as he opened up the box, shaking his head. “You’ve lost the ability to surprise me. You’re just plain boring.”

“Again, weird take on a very loving relationship.”

The smugness radiating off Shouta was overwhelming as he took the belt out of the box, shaking it as if to rub it in Hizashi’s face. “And it’s midnight, so I guess I’m an amazing human-slash-genius.”

Hizashi felt himself grinning like an idiot as he looked at this man, the love of his life. He looked tired as always, but there was a certain glow of victory to his onyx orbs.

“Yeah, although... you might want to take a look at the inscription on that their belt,” he said. In all honesty, it came out much calmer and... more normal... than Hizashi had expected. He thought he would be a stuttering mess while doing this and tip Shouta off.

Shouta’s eyes widened, something akin to panic flashing across his face, and looked down to the belt. Hizashi took a deep breath and let it out, taking the ring out of his pocket.

“Why?” Shouta asked as Hizashi got down on one knee, suppressing his grin until Shouta looked at him. “Oh no, what does it say? _Aizawa Shouta will you marry me._..?”

He started speaking the sentence rapidly fast, but as Shouta read through it, his words slowed, and Hizashi could see the moment the realization - the depth - of his words clicked. Shouta whirled to face him, jaw slack, cheeks, and ears reddening as Hizashi beamed.

“Surpise, Shouchan.”

* * *

Shouta felt like he was going to pass out as he looked at the scene - the person - in front of him.

Hizashi, the love of Shouta’s life, down on one knee. A smile - a ring - as bright as his hair, as his personality. Even in the dark of the evidence room, it felt like it was going to blind Shouta.

“I’m so confused, I... I don’t know what’s happening right now,” spills forth from Shouta’s lips. Because, frankly, he doesn’t quite know what is happening, or how to respond to it.

“Title of your sex tape,” Hizashi pipes in with a bop of his head.

Shouta felt himself smiling. “Oh my god, I’m shaking - title of your sex tape,” Shouta croaked out. Then a thought occurred to him, an absurd one, but still a thought. “Wait, is this really happening? Is this part of the heist? If this is part of the heist I will dump you _so_ hard!-“

Hizashi chuckled and held up a hand. “No, no, Shou, it’s not part of the heist, it’s real, I promise,” he said, and Shouta grinned. His heart felt so full that it threatened to burst. Hizashi was really proposing to him?

“It is?”

The smile on Hizashi’s face, if possible, grew even bigger and brighter. “Yeah,” he said, before sucking in a breath and letting it out. “Okay, here goes.”

“Shou, I love you. I love how smart you are, how handsome you are. I love your face, and I love your butt... and I should’ve written this down first,” Hizashi grumbled, shaking his head, but his smile was still on his face.

“No, it’s okay, go on,” Shouta said, grinning, and really wishing he could’ve spent a little more time on his hair today. Something to look a little bit more presentable for one of the greatest days of his life.

“Okay, I love how much you pretend to like the musicians I listen to.”

“I like Shikamina,” Shouta tried, really wishing he shared one of Hizashi’s biggest interests. He liked music, but not the same genre or artists like him.

“You don’t have to,” Hizashi told him, and Shouta nodded.

“You’re kind, and you’re strong, and you’re the best person I know, and the best hero-slash-detective... also, for reals, I love your butt.”

Shouta chuckled nervously, hiding his blush in the fold of his capture weapon. “Gross,” he joked, and Hizashi chuckled. “But I love yours too.”

“Aizawa Shouta, will you marry me?”

Looking at the emerald-green of his boyfriend’s eyes, Shouta already knew his answer.

“Yamada Hizashi, I will marry you,” Shouta said, feeling his cheeks flush, and his heart felt ready to burst. But the blinding grin from Hizashi that made Shouta wanting sunglasses worth it.

He leaped to his feet and tackled Shouta in a bear-hug, sending them both tumbling back until Shouta’s back hit a shelf.

“Come on, try the ring on!” Hizashi said, taking a few steps back and grabbing Shouta’s hand. He watched as Hizashi slid the ring onto his finger, and cocked a brow.

“Perfect fit. How’d you know?” He asked Hizashi, looking up at the face he’s going to wake up to for... for the rest of his life. Hizashi grinned.

“Remember that day I made you try on all those rings for our undercover operation to the gambling den last month?” It took Shouta a moment to realize the implications of that.

“Oh my god, Zashi,” Shouta groaned, but he did admire the thought and care Hizashi put into that.

“God, I love you so much, Shou,” Hizashi said, before pulling him into a kiss. Hizashi’s lips tasted like sunshine and strawberry chapstick, like everything good in this world, and Shouta smiled.

“Hey assholes, guess who escaped! Time to-“ Nemuri shouted suddenly, barging into the evidence room. Shouta startled and pulled away, still not quite comfortable with kissing in public. Hand-holding or hugging was one thing, but kissing was another.

It occurred to him after a moment that Nemuri was staring at the two of them slack-jawed and eyes wide.

“Did... did you just...?” Nemuri asked, pointing at Hizashi. His boyfriend - no, Shouta realized - his fiancé, beamed and nodded. Nemuri’s eyes slid to him. “And did... did you just...?”

A flush of embarrassment rushed to his cheek, and Shoura nodded, held up his hand, and buried his face into Hizashi’s neck out of embarrassment. It was only when he heard a thud did he look up and saw Nemuri fainted on the floor, a smile on her face.

Next to him, Hizashi sighed. “Oh, Nemuri...”

* * *

The next day, once everyone got their ducks in a row, the squad was celebrating Hizashi’s proposal in the Moon Cat bar, smiles on all of their faces.

“To Shouta and Aizawa!” Toshinori led.

“To Shouta and Aizawa!” The rest of them cheered, and Hizashi grinned and took a sip of his drink. Shouta did as well, before burying his face into Hizashi’s shoulder in embarrassment.

“Great stuff, great stuff,” Nedzu said, looking around the group. “So, since Yamada altered the cummerbund, no one really won the heist this year. Is that what everyone’s thinking?”

The group groaned, and Hizashi shook his head. “Captain,” he groaned, and Nedzu held up a hand.

“Right, right, sorry, not the time,” Nedzu said, although he didn’t sound too sorry for saying that. “I’m so happy for you both. Technically there was no winner continue.”

“Oh, Oboro just texted me,” Tensei said, holding up his phone. “He said, _Weird, I didn’t even know they were dating_ ’.” Hizashi frowned- “‘ _JK, so happy for you bitches’_.”

“There it is,” Hizashi muttered, nodding his head.

“So, Hizashi, tell is everything,” Nemuri purred, batting her eyelashes as Hizashi. But the glare Shouta sent her was sharp enough to cut steel, and she backed off. “Did you call Shouta’s dad?”

He nodded, pointing the neck of his drink at Nemuri since his other hand was wrapped around Shouta’s shoulders. “I did, of course.”

* * *

“Aizawa-san, I am calling to inform you that I plan on asking your son to marry me, but since it’s 2017, I am not asking for your permission, as he is not your property, nor would be mine if he chooses to say yes. He’s a strong, independent hero, and he doesn’t need a man! That being said, I really hope he says yes, but it’s his decision so just back off please!”

* * *

Shouta smiled at him, a rare smile only reserved for him. “Aww, that was perfect. What did he say?”

“Oh, I have no idea, I left a voicemail. I am terrified of him,” Hizashi admitted with a grin. Shouta rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink.

“It runs in the family,” Shouta replied with a dry chuckle.

“Not to talk out of turn, but I think I get credit for giving Hizashi the idea to propose,” Toshinori said in a wistful voice. Hizashi knew that he was thinking about his wife, Inko, and three kids; Izuku, Bakugou, and Uraraka.

“How’s that?” Hizashi queried, raising a brow at the father.

Toshinori blinked. “Remember? That day in the kitchen?”

* * *

“So what I’m saying is, vanilla yogurt is good, but pair it with a blueberry yogurt, and both of them taste even better!” Toshinori had said, raising the yogurt cups to his face. “Get it?”

Hizashi blinked, definitely not getting it. “Yes?”

* * *

“I did not get it,” Hizashi told him, and Toshinori deflated - literally. His usual bulked-up form of his quirk had a sort of ‘limit’ of which, when he passed it (or chose to ‘deflate’) would shrink into a skeletal man. “Oh! But speaking of yogurt, you’ve eaten six GPS devices this week, you may want to go to a doctor.”

“What?” Yagi blanched, blinking rapidly. Hizashi grimaced but was saved when Nemuri spoke.

“All right, Sarge, but I think everyone knows I planted the idea in Hizashi’s head eight years ago,” she announced with a dramatic bow and swoop of her hand.

* * *

A raven-haired man who looked like he just rolled out of bed and threw some clothes on walked out of the elevator, warily glancing around the precinct. There were too many people there, and oh god he was going to have to introduce himself. That was fun.

“Oh, are you the new recruit?” A voice asked, startling young Shouta. He looked up, red eyes flashing on instinct as he looked to the side. Standing next to him with a stack of papers and short, gelled-up hair that looked like a tiny banana was standing next to him. He had orange-tinted glasses, but Shouta wondered if he could see green eyes through the tint.

“Uh, yeah,” Shouta grumbled, holding out his hand and hiding his face in the folds of his capture weapon. He always hated this part: Social interaction. “Aizawa Shouta. Quirk... Erasure. I can, uh... erase other people’s quirks.”

He waited for the rebuttal, the dislike for having a villain’s quirk, but he didn’t get that. Instead, the blonde beamed and shook his head.

“Yamada Hizashi! Quirk, voice! I can make my voice really loud!” He replied. “WELCOME ABOARD!” Yamada shouted that part as if to prove his point, and sure enough, it was like he was yelling in Shouta’s ear at full volume, even though he was a few feet away from Shouta. He winced, and it was clear the other people around them heard it too, groaning in response.

“Yamada! What did we say about volume control!” A blue-haired man in the corner of the floor shouted, yanking a pair of goggles off his head. Banana-head winced from the rebuttal.

“Sorry, Oboro! Just demonstrating it for the new recruit!” He replied, before looking to Shouta. Before either of them could speak, though, a woman in rather... revealing... clothing popped up next to Yamada.

“Ooh, does little Yamada have a crush~? He’s totally your type.” The woman said, and Shouta drew back. That... was gross. And uncalled for. Yamada groaned.

“Dammit, Nemuri, we talked about this shit!” Yamada scolded the woman, a slight flush to his cheek, before turning to Shouta. “Sorry about her. Nemuri just... sucks.”

The woman - Nemuri - cuffed Yamada on the back of his head, seemingly forgetting Shouta was there. “How rude, Yamada!” She said, before turning to Shouta and extending a hand. “Hello there, handsome! Name’s Kayama Nemuri, quirk; Somnambulist. The aroma my quirk admit can forcefully put anyone to sleep, works better on men! But you can call me whatever you want.” That last sentence was a sultry purr, associated with a wink.

Shouta gulped and half-prepared to wrap her up in his capture weapon, but Yamada acted before he could.

“Alright, let’s go before you scare the new recruit off,” Yamada said, grabbing Kayama by her ear and dragging her off to the chuckles of the - no, to a light blue haired man - a man with dark blue hair and a buff man with blonde hair.

* * *

“Yeah, no, that actually really slowed things down,” Shouta admitted, scowling. “It took me, like, four years to forget that memory.”

Nemuri sighed. “Sadly, I’m my own worst enemy,” she said. Hizashi rolled his eyes and held up his free hand.

“Look, no one gave me the idea. I decided to ask Shouchan to marry me all on my own on April 28th.”

* * *

“Oh my god, where the hell are the rare cats?” Shouta groaned from where he sat next to Hizashi on the bed.

Hizashi looked over at him, then, as Shouta looked dejectedly at his phone, apparently waiting for some rare cat on Neko Atsume to appear.

The thought struck Hizashi as quickly and violently as a gunshot: I want to spend the rest of my life with man. This grumpy, tired, deadpan, mess of a man that brought so much joy to Hizashi’s life.

He grinned. A big, beaming grin that Shouta would be blind to miss.

“What are you grinning at?” He deadpanned, giving a slow blink, raven-black hair falling in front of his eyes. “My pain?”

His grin grew wider. “No, something else,” he said, before looking down at his book to avoid any other questions.

* * *

Ken blinked. “Seems pretty normal to me.”

Hizashi shrugged. “I don’t know what to tell you - that’s just when I knew.” Ken nodded.

“Romantic epiphanies are dope.”

“Yes, they are dope,” Nemuri agreed, before raising her glass again. “Congratulations!”

“I’m so happy you two are getting married,” Nedzu said. More cheers and the clinking of glass sounded as everyone toasted.

“We’re getting married,” Hizashi said, looking at Shouta. A soft smile crossed his fiancé’s face.

“We’re getting married,” he repeated, before resting his cheek on Hizashi’s shoulder. Hizashi smiled for the thousandth time that day - his own cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling that much.

“And no one won the heist,” Nedzu added as an afterthought. Hizashi and Shouta sent twin glares at him while the rest of the squad groaned.

“Get over it, ya jag!” Hizashi crowed.

“Yeah, ya jag!” Shouta said, before setting his drink down and wrapping his arms around Hizashi. Despite it happening a hundred times before, it still made Hizashi’s heart skip a beat.

He couldn’t wait to marry this man.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm not dead, I've just been in Erasermic and Dadzawa hell. Also it took me like the entire day to write that so uh yeah bye


End file.
